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The Joy of Missing Out

While my last article was all about lockdown Silver Linings, I also want to acknowledge that the last few months have been charged with angst for many. Unknown work and financial situations, the fragile health of loved ones, and a more acute sense of loss to daily freedoms, while juggling family and work in small spaces. Lockdown has undoubtedly placed a strain on our mental health, relationships, and what our new normal will look like.

 It's not always the strongest that survives; sometimes, it's the most adaptable. Those who can pivot and change their trajectory, in times like these.

 when you can't imagine the future, momentarily rewind and think about the past. Remember and recognize the hardships you've faced before and how you moved through them. 

Acknowledging our resilience helps us to figure out, 

Make a list of all the things you're thrilled that you don't have to do during this time of lockdown. Things like not having to:

  • change out of sweatpants
  • wash your hair as often
  • do the dreaded daily commute

 create more moments of joy because we're more likely to then notice them. And the more we see them, the more likely we are to savour and share them. Being able to capture a few things that are joyful about getting to stay home at this time (like we've all secretly wished for in the past) can genuinely help.

 


One of the best things we can do is try to find a sense of self-compassion. I love what one of my favourite psychologists, Kristin Neff, says about this:

When you get interrupted by kids, your partner, or the phone, instead of getting frustrated, say to yourself, And take a moment to go inward and simply breathe.

We need to remember that interruptions are part of what it is to be human. And they're clearly an intensified part of our human condition during this time of lockdown. So be gentle with yourself and talk to yourself with compassion like this: 

When we don't beat ourselves up, it becomes so much easier to move forward.

The encouraging news, psychologically speaking, is that over half of us respond to traumatic events differently. And one sure thing is, it IS possible to have post-traumatic growth. Post-traumatic growth comes from a way of thinking, such as 

Examples could include a heightened sense of personal strength, a more profound feeling of gratitude, finding new meaning in things, or investing more in the relationships you have.

Yes, life at the moment can feel hard and scary. But we have power.

 

By focusing on the good, the silver linings, we shift our minds out of unhelpful states of thinking. We ease our fears and our triggers.

When we make the positive things bigger and more important than what we're going through right now, we melt the associated panic and fear that can be all-consuming.

Love, joy, abundance is inevitably and rightfully yours, even in times like this.

 And that will never stop being true.

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